Birthday, Sick Day

1. Mochila and I have been working in the same office this entire time without knowing it. She plans a special company outing to Olive Garden for my birthday. Something unclear happens with armed robbers, but Mochila is so organized we all escape unharmed.

2. Everybody in the world feels nauseous. People are throwing up on street corners, in trash cans, in their purses, in little kid's strollers. The world shuts down and we all call in sick.

Forgiveness in the Food Court of Collin Creek Mall

I see you for the first time in so long; you walk right by me and it's clear that you don't recognize me. I grab your sleeve (you are cloaked in some kind of flowy black garment) and you turn back to look at me. You hug me and it's clear that I am forgiven for everything that happened and for all the time we haven't spoken.

I Dream More When I Have No Job

1. You and I are eating peanut brittle from a shoe box. Soon, most of the peanut brittle is gone and we are eating brown sugar. I break up a clump of it and a bunch of ants run out because we've really been eating an ant hill.

2. Our next door neighbor has a kind of ship's portal into our bedroom. She says, "I really wish you guys wouldn't do your dishes on Tuesdays because it makes my daughter sick. And what am I supposed to do with these two blowjobs?"

3. We find a little kitten in the backyard and bring him inside to keep. I spend a lot of time on the phone with my insurance company, trying to get the kitten covered under my policy. The phone works differently from a real phone, i.e. when I talk the insurance lady can't hear me and when she talks I hear my mom's voice saying things that aren't relevant to the conversation.

Hanging Out

1. I am hanging out with this kid who smokes pot in front of his parents. He just lights up on his front lawn and I know he must be a really bad kid with no supervision. He invites me inside but I hesitate because 1) he's bad! and 2) the door to get into his house is about four inches tall and I'm claustrophobic.

2. I am hanging out with some models who are related to me in some way. They are posed in all kinds of dangerous positions (on rooftops with no railing, on ledges several stories high, over thunderous waterfalls and gigantic canyons). Though I want to see the photo shoot, I can only watch through my fingers because I don't want to see them fall.

Badgerish

There is some cute, unidentifiable mammal who wears a little hat living in our backyard. It has a nest made from dollar bills and shredded up dixie cups. You and I plot to steal the creature's cash when he goes out foraging.

The Bar

We are at a bar with a group of friends and my bowl of goldfish is in the middle of the table. You keep playfully biting the top of my head like it's an apple. I'm having fun, but I really want to be back at home, reading the book Burn Your Bridges, Samuel Beckett.

Lost

I am trying to find my way home from a distant part of Brooklyn. I don't have any money or keys, and it's the middle of the night. Somehow, Eric Clapton is to blame.

Cell Phones, Easter

1. There are a bunch of different cell phones in my bed. One is my mom's and I am stressed out because I know she needs it and I'll have to FedEx it to her immediately. Another one is unfamiliar but has pictures of me and my cousins with our heads floating in jars of liquid (this isn't scary, more like a really neat optical illusion).

2. I am back in graduate school and my then-boyfriend is acting guilty. His pager is vibrating in his pocket and he's wearing a bracelet made of candy. Just when I start to get really suspicious, Mochila comes around the corner with a basket and says, "Happy Easter," in a chicken/rabbit voice.

The Cleanest of the Three

My dad is in my mom's hot tub with my stepsister (from my mom's remarriage) and two other girls I don't know. This makes me feel uncomfortable and I tell my dad so. All three girls stand up to reveal that they are pregnant and I am relieved*.

*I've just suffered through a string of unbloggable sex-with-various-family-members dreams and I am quite finished with that, Subconscious please take note.

Responsibility

I am at a party in a really rough neighborhood to celebrate the pilot of some television show I've never heard of. At some point everyone leaves me in charge of their rent money while they go buy more beer. I am in this stranger's apartment with stacks and stacks of cash all around me when I realize that 1) the door doesn't lock and 2) the walls are made of glass.