Bum Fight

I have a garbage bag full of my stuff: a toaster, some toast, a pair of earrings. I need to leave my garbage bag unattended on the street and I'm afraid this hobo guy will steal it, so I say, "Don't touch my stuff, asshole." "Who you calling asshole," the guy says, "I'm on the faculty."

Therapy

I'm in a therapist's office, but the therapist seems annoyed that I am there. He keeps looking at his watch and texting people on his phone. Ultimately, he reads aloud from Kevin Canty's A Stranger in this World and tells me to "go process that."

Symbols

I am watching a show on the Discovery Channel about famous artists. The basic point of the show is that artists make art about the symbols that scare them the most. I think this must be true because David Lynch is afraid of the waning moon (and therefore makes movies about fragmented identity) and Joan Didion is afraid of coiled snakes (and therefore writes tight narratives from a female perspective).

Forgotten Dog

We have a dog that we've forgotten about. Apparently, he's been scratching at the back door since we signed our lease last year. "How could this have happened?" we ask, furious with each other.

Goat Culture

We are at a restaurant and the family next to us* is eating an entire goat. The goat is splayed out over the table on a silver platter. I ask you to pose for a picture angled in front of the people's table so I can secretly document the insanity.

*They are Armenian, someone tells me later, and this is their custom.