Guns, Again

We are in Libya for a layover, though it looks a lot like Quitaque, Texas. We have to navigate through all of these craggy rocks and gulfs to get to our plane. Also, people are shooting machine guns nearby, which makes everything more difficult.

More Malls

I'm attending a writing workshop in a shopping mall in Texas when a crazy teenager starts shooting people in the video game store across from us (apparently my subconscious buys the "video games lead to violence" bit much more that I do). I know that the writing workshop has no exit, so I walk past the shooting teen nonchalantly and head to the food court. A girl from the workshop comes with me, only she isn't very nonchalant--she runs and gets shot and I feel superior and proud of my ability to project calm under pressure.

Family Trip

I am having some kind of external group acid trip with my friends and family at my parent's house. We all take a pill and then weird things happen around us: there is a live animal portion (bees sting us, fetal pigs crawl up our legs), an underwater portion (we can breathe under there and we do magnificent dives) and a euphoria portion where we all just lay around feeling great. The drug in question is legal and can be found in any GNC.

New Baby

Diana has a new baby and gives her to me to hold. The baby tries to nurse through my shirt and this is a little embarrassing. After much struggling, the baby gives up and says, "Sor-ry," in the voice of an annoyed teenager.

Birthday, Sick Day

1. Mochila and I have been working in the same office this entire time without knowing it. She plans a special company outing to Olive Garden for my birthday. Something unclear happens with armed robbers, but Mochila is so organized we all escape unharmed.

2. Everybody in the world feels nauseous. People are throwing up on street corners, in trash cans, in their purses, in little kid's strollers. The world shuts down and we all call in sick.

Forgiveness in the Food Court of Collin Creek Mall

I see you for the first time in so long; you walk right by me and it's clear that you don't recognize me. I grab your sleeve (you are cloaked in some kind of flowy black garment) and you turn back to look at me. You hug me and it's clear that I am forgiven for everything that happened and for all the time we haven't spoken.

I Dream More When I Have No Job

1. You and I are eating peanut brittle from a shoe box. Soon, most of the peanut brittle is gone and we are eating brown sugar. I break up a clump of it and a bunch of ants run out because we've really been eating an ant hill.

2. Our next door neighbor has a kind of ship's portal into our bedroom. She says, "I really wish you guys wouldn't do your dishes on Tuesdays because it makes my daughter sick. And what am I supposed to do with these two blowjobs?"

3. We find a little kitten in the backyard and bring him inside to keep. I spend a lot of time on the phone with my insurance company, trying to get the kitten covered under my policy. The phone works differently from a real phone, i.e. when I talk the insurance lady can't hear me and when she talks I hear my mom's voice saying things that aren't relevant to the conversation.

Hanging Out

1. I am hanging out with this kid who smokes pot in front of his parents. He just lights up on his front lawn and I know he must be a really bad kid with no supervision. He invites me inside but I hesitate because 1) he's bad! and 2) the door to get into his house is about four inches tall and I'm claustrophobic.

2. I am hanging out with some models who are related to me in some way. They are posed in all kinds of dangerous positions (on rooftops with no railing, on ledges several stories high, over thunderous waterfalls and gigantic canyons). Though I want to see the photo shoot, I can only watch through my fingers because I don't want to see them fall.