Hiatus

We got a puppy. No sleeping. No dreaming.

Where to Start

I'm a doctor and my patient is a little girl. She presents with trouble urinating and a detachable nose. The nose is plastic and meant to resemble caucasian flesh tones, but it's a bad match and kind of terrifying.

Taller

There is a fight about his drinking, another about his actual height. She claims she is taller, but they can't measure now because they are driving across the desert. When they stop at a gas station, he pretends the fight was a draw and holds her at arm's length so he can't be proven wrong.

Nobody You Know

A group of people walk in a straight line over a sand dune and stop at a patch of concrete where a plane took flight seconds before. They stare at the air where the plane was. A blonde wig falls from the sky and someone picks it up and dashes it onto the sand.

Fight

We are having a big fight because you betrayed me the way I betrayed you. We are in a hotel room and I am crying. I keep trying to throw things at you, but they just rise up into the air and flutter gently to the ground.

Halloween Dreams

1. There is a lobotomized kid coming to live with us. He has curly hair and glasses and walks like a zombie. We get some kind of extra healthcare benefits if we let him sleep on our couch.

2. I am at church camp and I'm supposed to be crawling through a series of progressively smaller tubes. I don't want to do it so I direct a kind of growling sound at one of the coercive camp counselors. Then I woke up in my bed, making the growling sound out loud (which was really scary).

Chi and Me

I have to teach a group of little kids an emergency Tai Chi class. I start by stalling in the gym supply closet until one of them comes after me. Then I ask each of them to tell me where they think the soul resides in the body; we all agree it's somewhere between the brain and the chest, probably in the neck.

Funeral Crashers

We go to two Jewish funerals: one happy and one sad. We are late to the sad one (because we were having so much fun at the happy one) and we disrupt the service and cause a scene. Later, the deceased shows up as a chair ghost and I seemingly hover while I sit on him in the aisle of the synagogue.

TIger

A woman's throat opens up and inside is a small plastic tiger on a chain. "It's the coughing that keeps me up nights," she says. I am unswayed and insist it's the rap music the neighborhood boys have been playing that keeps her awake.

Flapples

Natalie Portman and I are trying to figure out where to eat. I suggest a vegan slice at Vinny's Pizza, but NP claims they use the same cooking trays for the regular pizza. I am annoyed that she has taken her veganism this far, and I am also surprised that I never noticed that she has no ears, only little flaps on the sides of her head that open and close when she talks.