Dragged by Clinton's Dogs, Compromise

1. I have a job that is basically like my real job, only instead of assisting a blind author, I assist Hillary Clinton. My primary duties include walking her really big dogs and carrying shopping bags full of auto parts. I am unsteady on my feet because of several unwieldy hubcaps when some passing rodent causes the dogs to go crazy and drag me through a lake of raw sewage in Central Park.

2. I offer to let you live in our backyard, if only because it seems you have been living there for some time already and I don't want to put you on the streets. My primary concern is how the three of us will share the shower and getting-ready time in the bathroom, since you have to be at work at 9:30, too. I devise a schedule where you and Ronnie shower together on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Saturdays, and you and I shower together the remaining days; Ronnie and I have decided to wear bathing suits so you will be more comfortable, but you will be, presumably, naked.