Two Awkward Dreams

1. I do some freelance work for you, primarily addressing envelopes (to you) and proofreading your error-riddled copies of Us Weekly. You pay me in produce coupons for a farmer's market that I know is fictitious. The whole thing is pretty awkward and rather than calling you on it, I take the coupons and leave.

2. My dad and step-mom come to New York with a suitcase full of sugar substitutes (Stevia, if you care). They haven't brought any extra clothes and neither of them are wearing shoes. Even though my dad hates fruit, I decide to cancel our dinner reservations and make smoothies for everyone at our apartment.