Secret Song, Secret Dog

1. I have the only copy of a secretly-recorded New Order and Mott the Hoople collaboration track on my ipod. I am receiving a lot of attention for this in the music world. Though the song is pretty amazing, the chorus is lyrically-lackluster; Andy Bell gets in on the action somehow and sings in falsetto, "Sometimes I have to be so sweet/And then other times I don't."

2. While grating a particularly hard block of parmesean cheese, I grate the palm of my hand*. My blood somehow triggers my landlord's arrival at my door. He is furious with me and demands to know where I am hiding my Micro-faced Terrier.

*This really happened.