Secret Story, Day Care

1. In my copy of Deb Olin Unferth's collection, Minor Robberies, I find a code sheet for a secret, hidden story that contains important information about the universe called "We're Fucked." "We're Fucked" works by taking certain words from all of the other stories in the collection and arranging them according to a detailed cross-section of a boot. Something isn't working properly and I realize that it helps to have an actual boot in your mouth when completing the puzzle; Ronnie refuses to let me do this for hygiene reasons and we get into a really big fight in a taxi cab.

2. In her haste to get to a meeting, my mother drops me off at a house full of raw foodists. I talk about my recent commitment to drink no more than three drinks in one sitting, which impresses no one. I realize that the only way I will get along with these people is if we talk about video games, so we do.